TRUCKSTOP - By Rich Tatarka

Well Hello Mrs. Newsletter Editor Ma’am, as per our text from a month or so ago, where we discussed the possibility of me drafting an article whilst under the influence of the “Oxy-Happy” pills I was taking after the hip replacement surgery I had. Turns out I tried, but after writing the same sentence six times in a row, I decided to wait a bit til the “Oxy-Happy” effects wore off. Silly thing about the whole hip replacement ordeal that I noticed… There’s not much difference in one of these procedures and changing out wore out parts on the Ol’ Log Truck. They both start out as a certain part that is indeed wearing out and needs to be changed sometime soon. So, phone calls are made and appointments scheduled with Surgeons and Service Managers. Then parts are ordered and not long after, early one morning, the Driver needing a Hip and his Truck needing a clutch are dropped off at their respective service bays.

    Not sure about what the truck remembers, but I don’t remember a thing until I woke up out of surgery back in the service bay I started out in. The Nice Nurse Lady was there checking vitals and making sure I didn’t do the Longmire thing and head to the truck wearing nothing but my hospital gown, because after all, I did have logs to haul… I was ready to get out of there when suddenly the good juice pain killer stuff from the surgery wore off and lots of the kind of pain that makes you need to pull over hit me. Then the Nice Nurse Lady gave me a shot of Fentanyl… The legal stuff…………..Wow……So that’s what the Fentanyl stuff fuss is all about………......

Anyway, the Surgeon/Service Manger guy stopped by for a visit and explained how everything went. He said he had a heck of a time getting the old one out because it was “Really in There”. Of course it was, and I knew exactly why. All those years of driving thru the brown mag-chloride cloud on the Bozeman Hill that permeated every nook and cranny on my truck, had also permeated me. I suggested he add an acetylene torch to his list of surgical tools for working on us truck driver types…  

     Soon, it was time to head for home. One last Q & A session with the Nice Nurse Lady, I asked how soon before I could take a shower. “Soon as you want” she said. “Your incision is double wrapped with an outside see thru waterproof patch so you can watch for leaks.”

Leaks… Reminds me of the Sunday morning back in my pole hauling days when Mrs. Tee dropped me off at the local truck shop where the Ol’ Truck had just gotten a new clutch installed. I was heading for Canada, but as we pulled up to the truck, one Service Manager/Surgeon and nine Nurse/Mechanics were on their knees watching a steady stream of oil running out of the front of the transmission. “Don’t look like I’m having dinner at the Tim Horton’s in Lethbridge this evening am I.” I asked the Service Manager/Surgeon… He told me to come back Monday afternoon and it would be ready.

     Anyway Mrs. Newsletter Editor Ma’am, back to the other story and my arrival at home after surgery. Ross Tee was waiting in the driveway with my “Doctor’s Orders” mandatory walker ready to help me into the house. (This walker was no ordinary walker though. It was “Walker, Texas Ranger”. Bigger. Better. Stronger…)

It was about then Mrs. Newsletter Editor Ma’am that I heeded the advice of the Youtuber Professors regarding the use of post hip surgery painkillers. They all said that they didn’t use any, and in fact within a couple of days were walking to the top of Mount Everest. So I gave that a try. Dumb idea… I don’t really consider myself to be wimpy, but this particular pain was something else. So off to Oxycodone land I went for a couple of weeks… Killed the pain but also rearranged the brain, I think. I remember one morning I was laying on the futon in my office staring up at the whitetail deer mount on the wall above me. And his antlers were slowly moving from side to side. Then he told me his name was Steve, and it was about this time in the recovery/healing process that I decided that from then on, all pain would be handled by two Tylenol a day….

     That said Mrs. Newsletter Editor Ma’am, I must hop one legged onto my soap box and do a bit of ranting about snowplows. In particular the snowplow trailer that’s all the latest rage especially on the interstates these days. I personally would like to see them all cut up for scrap as I see nothing good about using them. Towed behind a regular plow truck, they have the ability to swing left and right so they can do two lanes at a time. Saving money they say, covering all that road on one pass. Good point I’d say, but how come every time you see one down here there’s always another snowplow right behind it? The two of them go down the interstate together with the plow trailer swung out thus blocking any path with which to pass them. The two of them then commence to staying that way at 35 mph for several miles. Meanwhile, behind them builds a two or three (or 5) mile both lanes long line of pent-up metallic road rage. Granted, the plows need to do their job, but they also need to be a little more aware of what’s building up behind them and perhaps put the stupid plow trailer back behind them thus opening a lane letting some traffic by...

     Then there’s the Bozeman Hill… Not sure how many tens of thousands of dollars the State of Montana spends on the squirty stuff they use on the roads these days, but you know what I think they should spend it on? Sand. Good Ol’ more than abundant plain old ground up rocks. But sadly, the EPA says that using sand is a no-no because the use of it creates dust. And evidently dust is evil. (Makes one wonder just how much damage the thousands of gallons of evil car/truck eating chemicals is doing to our environment…)

     That said, Kenny Swanstrom shared a YouTube video with me that shows how things were done “Back in the Day” regarding taking care of our highways. Well worth watching, and pay particular attention towards the end, especially the guy in the back of the snowplow shoveling sand. Do a search for “MT-DOT (highways)- Montana Oranges” and have a look.

     And now Mrs. Newsletter Editor Ma’am I must close as I do have logs to haul, and I’m off to the shop to sit in the Ol’ Log Truck and practice pushing in the clutch with my brand-new leg parts for a while…

Until next time,

That Is All.

Rich T.