TRUCKSTOP - By Rich Tatarka

 Sooooo glad that’s finally over… Now I can have my radio back. The constant barrage of political ads just about drove me insane. (Or insane-ier cause some days I think I’m nearly there already…) I’m a dedicated listener to the AM portion of my radio, starting real early in the morning with “Coast to Coast AM” and talk of UFO’s, Bigfoot and such. Then all day with the usual bunch of radio hosts wishing they were Rush Limbaugh. Back in the day, AM Radio Stations had local live DeeJays that kept you informed about local stuff. Now it’s satellite feed from one of the coasts. I guess one could listen to your friendly neighborhood FM Deejays who are indeed broadcasting from your hometown. But it gets old listening to “Dave N Kate” or “Kurk n Callie” or whoever your local FM Deejay Heros might be, they’re pretty much the same wherever you are, and they have to play their “cutsie footsie flirty” games. So ya, good to have the political ads gone, and the usual round of advertisements back on the air. Depending on the radio station you’re listening to, there’s about a dozen of them and they run them several times a day, and have been since about 1962, I swear…

I’m sure you have heard them: The one about the poor orphan that lives in a dump and has no shoes, so please send him money… (Seems to me that if they sent the kid the money that they have spent on this ad for the last decade, he would have plenty of shoes…) Then there’s the farm lady from Topanka, Kansas needing money for poor farm kids, the lady from the food bank in rural Kentucky, and some famous lady that I’ve never heard of named Kristin Chenowith. Not sure what she needs money for, but she is famous for something, and you really should comply… The best one though has got to be the toe fungus lady and her husband’s nasty toes. Several times a day, every day… Since 1962. Really…

     Speaking of election ads, I was wondering if perhaps when Senator Tim gets all settled into his new job, he could find time to sponsor a bill to keep political ads off our damn cell phones. The last 3 weeks before the election, my cell phone was inundated with texts and calls from all kinds of politicians. A couple of times I counted them as I erased them and in ONE DAY I accumulated 24 texts and 18 calls from them. Made my phone virtually unusable. I got to the point where I would start rolling the window down to throw it out, but I stopped because I had some way cool critter pics on it I didn’t want to lose.

     Well, I didn’t break it, and I didn’t go to jail… I’m referring to the 2024 State Capital

Christmas Tree Harvesting Extravaganza, and the trip from the woods to Helena with the tree. This past week Governor Gianforte and his entourage showed up on Mike Duffy’s job for the cutting of the special tree. Weeks of planning and cruising the site were spent by Safety Elves Todhunter and Duffy, and they had 3 fine trees picked out for the Governor’s consideration.  But the first one had that long bare spot that you don’t notice until after you’ve cut it and have it back at the truck ready to load. Back at the landing, Mike and Jason had a nice fire going for the entourage to warm up with. (There was a bit of tension when an unknown liquid substance was found near the fire. The Governor’s Security Detail didn’t draw their weapons but were seconds away from calling in a Hazmat Team. Turns out that Camp Cookie Todhunter’s coffee pot he had on the fire tipped over and strange blue flames were coming from ummm, the coffee…) Not long after, Mike had a really nice Picea Engelmannii lying beside my truck, ready to load. He grabbed the top with his clipper, and I grabbed the butt with my loader, and we carefully set it up on the truck. A brief “Critical Pause” ensued as we stepped back a bit and studied the situation. At 30 feet tall and 39 feet wide my Christmas tree load wasn’t quite within the realms of my log hauling permits. I asked the Governor if he could write me a writ of some sort and I would hopefully not go to jail getting this tree to Helena. (His Assistant gave me her business card… kinda like a Get Out of Jail Free Card I figured…)  With the powerlines and stop signs between there and Helena in mind, Safety Elves Todhunter and Duffy commenced to trimming the tree down a bit so I would at least not disconnect anyone’s Internet Service and get Spruce branches on the windshields of oncoming traffic on my way to Helena. With Safety Pilot Car Todhunter somewhere behind me, we made our way up to Helena and the staging area delivery spot. Then a large contingent of State Elves commenced to help Mrs. Tee, Jason and I get the tree and the large amount of “Just in Case” branches we brought with us safely and in one piece on the ground. So ya,, I didn’t break it, and I didn’t go to jail.

     And I shall call this the “Bill Crismore Memorial Christmas Tree Event,” It seems that Bill had a bit of a kerfuffle while harvesting a Christmas Tree once. That one was for the Nation’s Capital and the story behind it is legendary. Legend has it that Bill accidentally fell the tree narrowly missing some darned ol’ Hippies protesting the cutting of one Christmas Tree. I’m not buying that… I wasn’t there but I’m certain He knew exactly where that tree was going. Right beside the Hippies. Bill passed not long ago, and I was fortunate to have known him and listen to his words of wisdom at several Executive Committee Meetings. His stories, especially of his fishing trips with Heckajake and Mr. Olson, were well told, and of course unbelievable. Bill didn’t miss very many Executive Committee Meetings and was always there until it got too painful to travel very far from home… Godspeed Senator Crismore. Till we meet again.

Until next time,

That Is All.

Rich T.